I am sad. I cry. I feel alone. I am depressed.
Yet, I get up every morning to cook for my family. I do the laundry. I clean the house. I do grocery shopping. I bathe my small kids. I prepare my older kids’ lunch for school. I talk to friends. I’m busy with taking care of the household. I blog. I read.
During the day when it’s busy and I have lots of things to do, I don’t remember being sad. I don’t cry. I don’t feel alone. I am not depressed.
But when everything’s quiet and I’ve done most of my household chores, the sadness comes back. I cry. I feel alone. Could this really be depression? Can a depressed person function in a normal way?
The answer is Yes. I learned that there are people like me who feel depressed but can still do and accomplish things. Some may even have successful careers and happy family life. Outside, it looks like everything’s okay. But inside, there’s a faint persistent feeling of loneliness. This is what high functioning depression is all about.
I am sure that there are parents of special needs children like me who can relate to this feeling. It is very true for us because we try our best to function normally while battling feelings of hopelessness and despair. We have an intense battle with negative thoughts and that battle can be tiring.
If you feel you’re suffering from depression, seek help. I know I will.
Note: I found a great article about depression, “Depression — How does it feel?“ which you may want to check out.