An Old Wound Was Opened

Today was a sunny day. I should have felt all warm and good. But I did not.

After almost a month of being housebound, Miguel and I were able to go out and play in the park. My toddler, Olivia, was also with us.

Miguel had a great time in the swing. Olivia had a blast, too, going up and down the slides. But, we didn’t stay there long because the temperature was low, 3 degrees Celsius. I didn’t want them to get sick again.

The park was close to my two older daughters’ school so I decided to just go and pick them up after we’re done in the park. So, we did.

While in the lobby waiting for the dismissal, I saw some familiar faces.  I get to meet some of the parents of my daughters’ classmates again. Actually, I haven’t gone to the school for months so they were surprised to see me there.

I knew they would ask me about Miguel and I was right. A few already know about Miguel’s condition so these didn’t really ask me a lot of questions except how he’s doing now. Some new faces approached me while Miguel was in my arms and gave him a look that is all too familiar to me.

One of them stared at Miguel like he was in a freak show. That look cut through my heart. I may have just been too sensitive to interpret it that way. But I know the look. I really know.

That moment I felt like all of them just circled around us and we were a spectacle in a theater. I wanted to run out the door and save Miguel from all those stares.

One even commented that Miguel must have been born that way because I was taking birth control pills. She said she knew of others who have disabled children because they were taking pills when they conceived. I politely said most are genetic. She didn’t seem to acknowledge what I said.

I know most of the comments people tell me are not meant to hurt. I know they are not that cruel. But, those words still hurt. I just wish they know.

Today should have been a good day for Miguel and me. Instead, an old wound was opened. I hope it heals fast enough so I can move on… again.

5 thoughts on “An Old Wound Was Opened

  1. You’re doing so well Anna with posting your experiences and letting them be your way of expressing yourself. What self control you have! I hope the fruitages of the spirit will bring your joy back too. Sounds like a challenging day! What a beautiful family you have:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the comment, Laurie. Every day is different when it comes to caring for Miguel. So, we just take it one day at a time. Yes, this experience has really helped me cultivate the fruitage of the spirit. 🙂

      Like

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